omg omg omg…can’t wait!!!

words cannot begin to describe how excited i am to add this to my collection. i know exactly how i’ll spend my tuesday night. do yourselves a favor and buy this.

i also wanna get “doubt” cause i haven’t seen that yet and i like meryl.

i also haven’t seen ‘no country for old men’..i’m a pathetic excuse for a film student. i have so many lists of things i gotta see.

but i got one you may not have seen. i probably already posted about this but i’ll do it again cause i absolutely love it!

son of rambow is the coolest ever. i wanna make something cute with kids in it! next mission def.

also, i’ll love anyone who can find me this! if you see it, grab it and mail it to me – i swear i’ll pay you back lol. it’s called the battle of shaker heights. shia labeouf’s in it and i know not alot of people like him but i think he’s alright. i used to watch even steven’s all the time and that kinda got me hooked on him. not in a psycho obsessed way though.

cinefest09 is upon us and there are atleast 10 films i’m gonna try to catch this week – this week’s gonna be real filmy, that sounds delicious.

uh, lastly i found this neat little collection of spanish films called ‘nuestro cine’ and it’s cool they have all these double features. i definitely wanna take a spanish cinema class as i’ll probably live there for a few years. wow, i think i just found my excuse to not graduate yet – double major? i think so!

jeez. i know it’s long, but…

this helped me figure out some stuff about myself.

me and matthew have this ongoing insider (well it’s not really an insider but anyways) where the three of us in my house are never EVER paired up at the same time. sometimes it’s only one of us but usually it’s two. either me & whitney will have boos and matt won’t, or him and whitney will and i won’t. that’s pretty much what’s happening now. ugh. stupid stupid.

i guess it’s my own fault though. i always get into these awkward situations with guys. i met one guy who knows exactly what he wants from me – a relationship. HOWEVER i refuse to be his excuse to complete his family. and i’m pretty sure he just got out of a relationship. it’s creepy to say the least. and i feel absolutely terrible because i know he’s a sweet guy and i could make him really happy but my heart’s just not in it. if you are my friend/ significant other i will do ANYTHING under the sun for you if i could but i refuse to sacrifice my own happiness for someone else’s.

i also have situations where i don’t know what the hell is going on and because i’m not 100% mature yet i won’t ask them about it lol. i’ll neurotically think about it and ask other people about it – sometimes even strangers – but i’ll say nothing to the person. it’s really frustrating and it’s most my own fault. i gotta learn how to teach people how to treat me. i mean, people don’t necessarily walk all over me or anything but i’m usually super chill and go about being all oblivious and what not. i need to take a more active role in showing the world what kind of person i am and letting them know that if they f*ck with me…there are gonna be some problems.

so i’m guessing i need to narrow down exactly what it is i want from a guy so that this stops happening. every time i’m asked that question i pause lol- and then smile and say i’m not sure. i really am though.

1. i want a guy that likes to go out. i like to party lol but not just out to get drunk. i’m curious about everything around me and i need someone to understand that. if that means i wanna roam the city all night just scouting cool places to shoot a movie then that’s what that means.
2. i love food and different cultures. so i want someone who’s down to go try any type of food from anywhere in the world.
3. i really love music and i make this joke of one day meeting my musical soulmate. haha i don’t think that’s gonna happen cause i don’t know many people that’ll have the same amount of interest in Bob Marley, the Clash, Lily Allen and the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack (Jai Ho is the best song ever written). but i know that’s asking for too much. all i want is for someone to get in my car and not say “WTF is this?”
4. i don’t mind the whole “PDA” thing but i don’t want somebody constantly sucking my face off to show the world we’re going out. that’s happened to me and i’m not a fan.
5. i love sex. so as long as i get it on the regular i’m not going anywhere lol. i’m open to stuff lol. i’ll role play and sneak around in public places. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with maintaining an exciting sex life.
6. i don’t need anyone clingy. i don’t need to see/ talk to you everyday so do not blow up my phone calling me all the time. i hate phone conversations anyway and i’d rather talk in person. i don’t know if guys got the impression from other women that it’s cute to be disgustingly affectionate all the time but i don’t like it. don’t call me “boo” or “baby” all the time i have a name. we can hold hands if that’s your thing lol i don’t mind that.
7. if something i do bothers you FOR THE LOVE OF GOD tell me! i’m not a mind reader (even though that’d be badass). guys go around complaining about how clueless they are. so am i! i can’t take subtle hints. fucking tell me what’s wrong or if something’s changed. much appreciated.
8. do not keep me around as your safety while you go and try to get with somebody else. i wouldn’t do that to anyone. actually, if you just tell me “hey, i actually wanna try seeing other people just to keep my options open” i’ll appreciate you 10x more than if you just fake that we’re ok so that i don’t find out. cause i’ll just get ridiculously suspicious and turned off of you altogether.
9. don’t cheat? i know that’s pretty obvious but it happens so often that i feel it should be one of my requirements.  i guess that ties into the previous one and the next one…
10. BE HONEST! oh my god. tell me what’s going on, if your feelings change, anything! i’m THE most open person ever and i’d rather be told when something’s not working than just being somebody’s story to someone else. i love open discussion. feelings, emotions all that nonsense lol. i’ll openly discuss how i’m feeling with you if you do the same. but i can’t do that if someone’s not on a mature enough level with me.

a friend of a friend (i think i said that right?) explained to me (he’s a guy by the way) that apparently during the beginning of a relationship or when you’re just “talking” (still don’t know what that means…or “seeing”) a guy’s trying to figure out what you as the woman wants. he said guys have too much pride to come out and say they want a relationship if they do so they’ll leave it up to you. i don’t know what that means…or why that’s the case lol.

but alas, i have been in a situation where i straight up told the guy exactly what i was looking for but he was the biggest douchebag on the planet that yea…i got what i wanted for about a week. anyway, i’m really not here to rant about asshole guys. maybe just trynna get as many opinions as possible cause it seems to me like everyone has there own. i personally don’t have adequate experience in being able to judge these types of situations.

whatevs.

i don’t really date that much but i will say that every “dating” situation i’ve been in has taught me something new. everyone is different.i try really hard not to lump every guy in the same category but i’m kinda losing hope. however, i’d still like to think there are people out there who want exactly what i’m looking for. even if it’s the dragracer who i should probably go out with but i’m too stupid to realize it yet.

sha! thank you kindly.

i’ve been so out of it the past couple of days or weeks – i don’t really know i’ve lost track. skipping out on sleep and meals. i hope i’m ok haha.

i met this guy lol and he’s such a sweetheart but he’s intense as shit. he seems like he’d be super clingy and speaks of marriage too casually and i’ve only hung out with him like once. i’m a little more than slightly freaked out. BUT! he’s like this pro bike dragracer which makes him super cool and he wants me to be his apprentice. i’m gonna learn how to work on motorcycles and ride them & shit.

i went to jersey for a few hours then came back and watched some movies with my boo (no homo). i saw twilight and i gotta say, it was pretty fuckin’ awesome. i made alot of fun of the people that were so into this cause i’d walk into hot topic and see shirts from this shit and quotes and it was just ridiculous. but it was very well done. i mean, it’s a pretty sickening love story but it’s filled with enough action to keep you from gagging. and edward cullen is the man. i’d do stuff to him. omg and kristen stewart, shit. i found my new woman crush. she’s right up there with mila kunis.

so yea, if you haven’t seen it do check it out.

i tried hard not to, really i did.

this here’s a response to a “fresh2defsheis” publication¹

i posted it as a comment but whitney usually ignores my comments..or worse yet – will modify them. so here is what i wrote…

1. i actually went to mop the floor the other day but the contraption of a swifter you bought to replace mine that you broke is retarded.

2a. you brought the cat into our house.

2b. i tried to kick her out one day and you let her back in. but please, i urge you to get rid of her if you’re so inclined. she shat in my car. i have a personal vendetta against her.

3. clearly the cat that (see number 2a) went into the trash can. as soon as i saw it i cleaned it up instead of doing the mature thing and taking a picture of it. silly me.

4. i got nothing for this one.

5. holy shit! i’m so sorry i left my bottle of hair lotion out. damn. never again…never again. this is by far the grossest of them all. this definitely deserved a picture.

6. clearly i told you BEFORE you made the damn spaghetti that night that him and i no longer wanted to indulge in your fine cuisine. you shouldn’t have have made it. however, i will throw it away since clearly i was the ONLY one who ate some of it.

7. ahem, (see number 2a)

8. ahem, (see number 2a)

9. ahem, (see number 2a)

10. i actually don’t read your blog but amanda told me you were bitching about me so i figured i’d give it a lil’ look see.

11. i’ve cleaned the kitchen and i’ll get to the bathroom when i’m not up all night editing.

12. there’s actually a new species of banana: the hueless Musa. look it up kiddo.

13. you probably won’t approve this comment cause you never do but it’s all good.

14. oh wait! i got another one…haha i almost forgot. how could you “love” amanda car when about 2 months ago you didn’t even like her?? this boggles me a little. she is pretty awesome though. maybe she sparked a sudden change of heart on your part with said awesomeness.

¹drama queen – (slang) By extension, an exaggeratedly dramatic person.

i’m a conundrum.

i’m harder to figure out than anyone, i swear. even i can’t figure me out. haha oh wells.

i saw the last house on the left today and i’ve come to the realization that i must leave the states as soon as humanly possible. american cinema has become so disgustingly predictable. the only compelling thing about this film was the story, which was, for the most part anyway, ripped off. granted there were some changes to make the new one more realistic but the original’s more badass.

bowling’s getting old lol. we’re gonna try laser tag.

i’ve been getting drunk too much lately. thanks amanda lol i love that kid.

i haven’t slept in 3 days and i’ve eaten only 2 meals but i’ve never been happier.

i made a short starring a few of my friends. i’ll put it up here soon.

breakin’ in the spring.

not that type of breakin’…even though it’s AWESOME haha

but it’s been pretty chill. hung out with my best friend ever from high school and got totally wasted. it was great.

my kitty took a shit in my car. that was fun times.

saw some films:

Cape Fear  – Scorsese

haha and i’m not gonna lie, deniro freaked me out in this. it was a damn good performance, very believable. however…deniro has a way with roles like this. taxi driver is one of my all time favorites but even in that he was a little creepy. so think taxi driver x 100.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall  – Apatow crew

i was talking with my friend about this last night. when i “make it” haha whatever that means, i wanna have a kickass crew like this. that make awesome movies and have a really good time. i need a cool name though….and friends haha. omg and mila kunis was gorgeous in this and i’m now secretly (but not so secretly anymore) crushing on her…hard.

Back to the Future  -  Robert Zemeckis / Spielberg

um. no explanation necessary with this one but i’m definitely gonna be marty mcfly for halloween this year. wow that sounds so lame. i want a delorean damnit!

i’m gonna be shooting a short tonight. my actors better be on time. :cough:: matthew ::cough::

also, the film festival’s at the end of this month and i’m super excited! i gotta save money cause there are atleast 10 films i wanna see. but that’s another post.

chyeaaa.

i wanna go see the watchmen tonight but i haven’t finished it

spring break is next week and it’s gonna be my chill week. don’t know what i’m doing yet..maybe the shitload of work i’ve allowed to accumulate.

i just put $100 into my POS car and will be dropping another $1000 sometime next week, whoo!

i’m 5′2″

um, i wanna shoot some cool shit over spring break..i just need actors haha

yea that’s it i think.

oh em eff geee.

this film was effin’ brilliant! and i never use the word “brilliant”…yea. it was a good watch, worth every penny, hope i make something this good someday blah blah blah. it was just awesome. i’d watch it a million times.

can’t wait.

OH EM GEE.

superrr excited for this. reading it now.

the watchmen

this looks super good too

the last house on the left

about to go see this now, chyeaa.

films make me soooo happy. haha i’m a huge nerd =P

yooo.

i’ve been slackin’ on my pimpin’ lately..gotta get that in check.

i wanna find awesome places to eat in philly.

i’m pretty chill at the moment.

the arctic monkey’s song ‘no buses’ describes my life too well..ugh

i needs to find me some time to go to jersey to get my ride fixed, lame.

i’m tired and bored…i need something new.